Please edit my college essay!!!?

I fumble around in the dark to silence my alarm clock, knocking over everything on my nightstand in the process. It is time to get up, but I cannot bring myself to leave the warmth of my bed just yet. It is 5:00, and I am the only one awake in the house. I wonder if by some miracle it snowed during the night and school will be cancelled. I decide that it is unlikely. Bleary-eyed, I drag myself out from under the covers and start to get ready. I have a long drive to school and if I leave early enough, I can beat the traffic.

As I search around for my gray pleated skirt and the itchy white sweater that distinguishes seniors from underclassmen, I think back to last year. As a junior, I carpooled to school with my English teacher. I would meet her next to the on-ramp of Route 2 at six-thirty every morning where she would pick me up on her way through town. Although most people might have found it to be awkward, for me, two forty-five minute road-trips with my teacher every day was anything but that. We quickly became close friends: we talked about life’s challenges, high school gossip, and everything in between. We often stopped at Dunkin Donuts before school for coffees, and we listened religiously to our favorite radio show. We shared music, we shared stories, and sometimes we shared head-colds. We developed a routine, yet our ride to school each day was never boring.

As our relationship blossomed, I came to look at her like an older sister and a friend. We were a team, prevailing over cold seats and traffic jams, fatigue and blinding solar glare. We made the long journey to school each day together. We faced the snow and the ice and the rain together. We reached our destination every day together. As the year went on, we developed a truly unique bond. However, the long commute was becoming incredibly expensive, and she began looking for a job closer to home. Summer drew nearer, and the dreaded day came when she told me she wouldn’t be teaching at my school the following year. She had been given the opportunity to be a principal at a different school and decided to take the job. I was so happy for her, but I was heartbroken at the same time. I couldn’t imagine a senior year without her.

I finally find my sweater, and with a glance at the clock, I hurry downstairs to make breakfast. I turn on the TV and listen to the news while I pack my lunch. I reflect on how much my life has changed since last year. I now drive myself to school each day. The highway can be a lonely place at six-thirty in the morning, but I conquer the thirty-four miles that lie between my house and my school as if the trip to school were my road to success. I still listen to the same radio show, and I still stop for my morning coffee. However, I must now face the journey myself. I triumph over the bad weather and the traffic on my own. I no longer have my English teacher to drive for me; I have grown to be independent. I have taken the wheel. I reach my destination with pride, because I know that school represents my opportunity to succeed. So whenever I am tempted to reach for the snooze button on my alarm clock, I remind myself that making the journey is essential, because on the other end of that highway lies my gateway to success.
prompt: "evaluate a significant experience in your life"

which is basically "write a goddamn essay about whatever you like"

It’s written very well! The only sentence that sounded a bit awkward was this one.
"Although most people might have found it to be awkward, for me, two forty-five minute road-trips with my teacher every day was anything but that."

The "that" sounds a bit strange.

Oh, and the sentences in your essay are short and a bit choppy. But I guess that’s your style so carry on.

Technorati Tags: Alarm Clock, Coffees, Cold Seats, College Essay, Dreaded Day, Dunkin Donuts, English Teacher, Fumble, Gray Pleated Skirt, Head Colds, Long Commute, Long Journey, Nightstand, Older Sister, Radio Show, Road Trips, Solar Glare, Traffic Jams, Underclassmen, White Sweater

Tagged as: Alarm Clock, Coffees, Cold Seats, College Essay, Dreaded Day, Dunkin Donuts, English Teacher, Fumble, Gray Pleated Skirt, Head Colds, Long Commute, Long Journey, Nightstand, Older Sister, Radio Show, Road Trips, Solar Glare, Traffic Jams, Underclassmen, White Sweater